Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Real [Team Mascot]s Bleed [Team Color]

A group of OSU Cowboy fans are sitting in a quiet
sports bar watching a football game. The place is
empty except for them. A single man enters the bar and
walks toward the group. A man who is clearly the
leader greets him and introduces him.

"This is John, he wants to join our club. Lets all
show him a good time."

The group, now with John, watch football and briefly
exchange sports-related small talk. The group, in
general, seems to get along with the new guy. The
leader breaks in.

"Well, John, if you want to get in our club, there's
just one rule: real Cowboys bleed orange."

With that, John is effeciently subdued by the members
of the group and his arm is is held tightly against a
bar table. The leader quickly brandishes a small knife
and cuts a deep gash into his muscle; blood begins
gushing out.

"Just like I thought: maroon. A Sooners fan, probably
a spy. Get him out of here."

John is dumped in front of an emergency room.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Rock, Paper, Scissors Wars

Three factions: rock, papers, scissors. Three armies armed to the tee with the most elite, and the most elaborate, weaponized rocks, papers, and scissors imaginable.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Alright Ladies,

Its time to get serious.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Video: Phone Sex

Take two sell phones and draw faces on them. Play smooth jazz as the cell phones look at each other. Then have them flopping on each other from strings and after a second lotion is squirted on all of them. Then the next shot is both phones on the grill.


OnTheGrill.Info

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Retarded Accessories

The idea is simple: there are people who have to take care of the handicapable individuals in this country, so why shouldn't they have a little fun every now and again? These accesories could range from simple things like the "I'm with stupid, no really" t-shirt and the soon-to-be smash hit wheelchair Retard Flag:

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Short Film: Becoming an Agnostic

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

JOHNNY and DANIEL are reading the Bible. Daniel has a perplexed look on his face.

DANIEL
This verse doesn't make any sense.
(Reads a verse aloud)
How can that make sense?

JOHNNY
(pointing at a page in the Bible)
Maybe if you look at it from this point of view it will be more clear.

DANIEL
(frowning)
Well, I guess.

FADE TO BLACK

INT. COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT

Johnny and Daniel are in a dimly lit coffee shop, reading Bibles.

DANIEL
(pointing at a page in his Bible)
Ok, now this just plain doesn't make sense.

JOHNNY
(frowning)
Yeah....that is odd.

FADE TO BLACK

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Johnny is playing video games while Daniel reads the Bible.

DANIEL
(looking at Bible)
Ok, this just doesn't make sense.
(beat)
Oh,
(beat)
This doesn't make sense!

JOHNNY
Ooohhhh it doesn't make sense

BOTH MEN
Yeah oooohh, ok...
(etc.)



THE END

Yahoo writes about Britney writing on the Internet

Looks like good ol' fashioned celebrity news will never go away. Yahoo Music has put up an article about Britney Spears and her newest blog post. I thought it only fitting to write an blog post about that article about a blog post. Yahoo wrote:

"Spears completed a monthlong (sic) stay at a luxury Malibu rehabilitation treatment facility in March after a series of run-ins with the paparazzi that included a stop at a San Fernando Valley hair salon, where she was caught on video shearing her own locks. Other photos splashed across the Internet appeared to reveal Spears out partying wearing nothing underneath her short skirts."

It's amazing how a 6 week ordeal over Ms. Spears can be summed up so well in just a few sentences.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Notes on Anatomy of a Bulletin

My vision for this blogger site is to be the "watcher" of my activities and the activities of others on the web. It will also serve as a "Staging Ground" for ideas in process, perhaps never to be actually completed.


The Anatomy of a Bulletin idea is simple. It would be a video about how one might come up with a bulletin on MySpace. I envision one shot of a guy walking down the street, staring at the ground, deep in thought, in black and white. There would be a shot with a couple guys in front of a chalk board. One guy would be writing down ideas while the other one crosses them out. They seem angry with each other. There would be a shot of a guy asleep in bed who will wake up and write down something in a notebook with a big smile on his face.

Finally after these shots any many others, the last shot will be the guy, possibly looking quite sickly at this point, clicking on "Post Bulletin." End.

I wonder if I should write out these ideas as an actual screenplay. Like this:

TITLE SCREEN - MUSIC STARTS

EXT. STREET - DAY (BLACK AND WHITE)

A man is walking with down an urban street, slightly distressed. He pulls out a pen and scribbles something onto his hand.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

Two men are standing around a chalk board. One man writes something on the board and the other man crosses it out. The men argue.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT (NIGHT VISION)

A man is sound asleep in his bed. He wakes up, puts on his glasses and grabs a nearby notebook. He writes something in it with a big smile on his face.

MONTAGE

Quick shots of a keyboard, a mouse, a bottle of Ritalin, a can of Red Bull, a man playing with a dog, a flushing toilet, etc.

INT. HOME OFFICE - DAY

The man is sitting at his desk. He looks closely at his screen and finally clicks "Post Bulletin."

THE END

It Begins....

I have started this blog alongside my MySpace blog as a place to come to post ideas and plans for future projects. I did not think it appropriate to include this on MySpace because I'm sure most of my readers there won't care about this stuff.

Coming soon: Notes on Antony of a Bulletin